Please Taylor Lautner, Take Your Shirt Back Off

So my roommate and trusty sidekick, Jordan, is a Taylor Lautner fan. This means countless hours spent watching a monkey with abs and the voice of a prepubescent girl, try to read words off a page. Tonight I wanted to see 50/50, a film with real actors and some artistic value, but of course it was sold out. So we had to see Abduction, T-Lauts newest disaster. I tried to comfort myself with two boxes of Whoppers, a medium popcorn with extra butter, and the hope that the sound would go out and he would take his shirt off, but for some reason some fool decided to convince Taylor Lautner that he was good for anything besides being straight up eye candy. Let me break this down for you: T-Laut cries probably 45% of the whole movie, laughs like a little girl, randomly jumps off of stuff like a spider monkey, and when he finally gets down to the dirty with that one girl from The Blindside, he decides he's hungry and needs a sandwich. But hey, at least he's not wearing cut-off jean shorts. Why such hate for Taylor you wonder? Well I assure you it has nothing to do with Team Edward or Jacob, even though everyone knows vampires are better anyways.... It has to do with the lack of substance coming from Hollywood these days. I'm over pieces of ass like T-Laut and the whole cast of Transformers becoming famous off of simply being hot. It reinforces the notion that hot people don't have to do anything and it drives average to semi-attractive girls to cook and clean and go to school and try and be funny, and thats a lot of friggin effort! ..... deep breaths. Anyways. I am just saying I would like to see a little more talent and a little less T&A in the movies these days. Also I went to a Capital Grille today and got their signature burger. O.M.G amaze. The key is that their beef patty is a trifecta of ground beef, bacon, and caramelized onion. They put bacon.. in the beef! *Happiness*

Cut it out Shark Boy

An Ode to the Burger and A Plea to Justin Timberlake

Well piglets I think it's time to get personal. Something you must know about me is that there is one thing I can never EVER say no to... a cheeseburger. There is nothing better than a hunk of juicy beef, covered in melted cheese, topped with crisp lettuce, and smothered in ketchup with a hint of mustard and mayo. *wipes drool* I could live off of burgers for the rest of my life, which would probably lead to morbid obesity and constantly smelling like a Five Guys but I'd do it. I would. Happily. And I'm sure there are a few of you out there who would join me. It's cool we'll get jackets or something. Anyways I plan on eventually reviewing some of my favorite places to get a good burger but this whole school thing is really putting a hitch in my professional blogger life. In the meantime I'm going to give you a few of my favorite variations of the burger for you guys to try at your favorite place! Also PLEASE comment your favorite burger and where to get it so I can continue eat food and write about it!


Blue Cheese + Bacon+ Chipotle Mayo
The blue cheese is a must because its a strong flavor but is still complimentary to the meat. The bacon is key because it's bacon and that's all I have to say about that. And the final touch is the chipotle mayo, which depending on how strong it is, gives the burg the right amount of heat but doesn't require a glass of milk. Dutches does this rendition nicely.


Pastrami + Blue Cheese
The blue cheese is a given and you would think the pastrami would give the burger some like super weird flavor but it doesn't. If you are a salt person you would like this.


Apple + Prosciutto
Adding apple or pear to a burger gives it a crisp and slightly sweet flavor that counter balances the meaty taste of the beef and the saltiness of the prosciutto perfectly. It truly is the yin and yang of food.

Blue Cheese 

Apple! oh this looks good..

Pastrami

My next bit of beef comes with Justin Timberlake. Now don't get me wrong, he is totally bringing sexy back, but not with his acting. His nasally, obnoxious, over the top facial expressions which we have all been forced to sit through this year with Bad Teacher to Friends With Benefits MUST stop. So here I am, virtually looking Justin straight in the eye and pleading: Please stop trying to act. Alpha Dog wasn't even that great. Please just let Jessica Biel handle it and go back to singing about the girls that got away.. like Cameron Diaz. in yo face JT!

Good Justin

Decent.. namely because he had his shirt off a lot

Bad Teacher... Bad Acting

.....please no more....

All Roads Lead to Youtube

Oh boy piglets it's been a long week, and I just realized I have to do laundry. Just another setback of college. ANYWAYS I was attempting to de-stress by listening to R&B and drinking chocolate milk and it just didn't work. I just couldn't shake the thoughts of.. stuff. Pointless, mindless, mundane stuff that is required of this so called illustrious college life. So I did what any person in their right mind would do when they need to get a grip: Youtube.


Here are some excellent vids to get you through Will Power Wednesday.

Malk by Julian Smith. One of his funnier videos besides Beached Whale.

Boys Will Be Girls by Harvard Sailing Team. AMAZING.
more amazing than ice cream. yes, it's possible. 


And now... my favorite video of all time

Jackie and Debra starring John Roberts. 
nuff.said


For all my film buff piggies or if those of you who don't have ADD need a nice break from the "real world", go to Netflix and watch Paper Moon. This 1973 Bogdanovich film is timeless, hilarious, and the connection between father-daughter costars Ryan O'Neal and Tatum O'Neal is amazing. It's about 102 minutes long so you could easily pretend to do math homework and some light reading while you watch. 
Snack recommendations: cheesy popcorn. Do it! Do it! Do it!

Harry, David, and a Leopard Scarf

Ello Pig-let. I have two things for you to munch on today... 
As I moved from crescent lunge to warrior II in my yoga sesh this morning, I felt an oh too familiar rumble in my tummy: Hunger. My mind instantly flashed to a hometown food haven, Harry & David and their delicious assortment of munchies and crunchies. Why H&D you ask? I don't know, maybe it's the start of fall and I'm feeling nostalgic or maybe it's because I'm patiently awaiting a gift basket from home. Regardless, Harry & David are two names that should be in any Polished Piglet's black book. I'm sure many of you have seen their stores wedged somewhere between an Apple store and a Capital Grille, but their headquarters are located right in little Southern Oregon. Harry & David's repertoire consists of the world's greatest gift baskets filled with confections like Hand-Dipped Chocolate Pears, Pumpkin Pie Cheesecake, Chocolate Truffles, and not to mention the perfect combination of sweet and salty: Moose Munch. So piglets next time you go into downward dog and all you can think about is food, go get a chocolate dipped pear from Harry & David.

mmm' moose munch

The Second thing I have to offer this morning is an accessory I feel no girl should live without: a leopard scarf. It can go with pretty much anything, anytime, anywhere. Take your basic skinny jean-white T-shirt-flats combo, add a leopard scarf and you have gone from basic to stylish in one second. Wrap it tight around your neck with a black pea coat for winter. Tie it up in your hair for a funky look. AND because it's black and tannish brownish it can pretty much go with almost any color you wear. This is an item every piglet needs, just don't spill your curry on it. Check check ah check it outtt. (BTW check the links on the pictures!)

Chan Luu- Light Tortoise Cashmere and Silk Leopard Print Scarf 

Thanks Sienna for being perfect and rocking the LV leopard stole

ASOS Leopard Print Headscarf

To indulge or not to indulge? but calories are the question..

Some things, piglets, are worth indulging. Others are just a waste of precious calories. Here I will break down two polished piglet life savers that are worth every penny; Skinny Cow Mini Fudge Pops and the Last Call Store by Neiman Marcus. 


Ever had those last night snack cravings that can only be quelled by shoving your face with absurd amounts of chocolate? Of course you do, you're a pork chop. But have no fear for Skinny Cows are here. Located in your local grocery store frozen treat section are Skinny Cow Mini Fudge Pops. Each pop has only 50 calories and 1g of fat. Yes this means 12-1.5 fl oz of icy chocolate heaven. So next time you are sitting alone in your room, tempted by the siren calls of warm butter pound cake, take the polished route and go for a Skinny Cow.


My next polished piglet life saver is Last Call Store by Neiman Marcus. Imagine walking into a store, picking up a Marc Jacob's sweater and its more than 50% off.... Holy. Balls. This piglets is a reality. At a  last call store you can get up to 70% off normal NM prices on designers like Alice + Olivia, MICHAEL Michael Kors, Proenza Schouler, Lanvin, Ella Moss, James Perse, and pretty much any other designer you could think of. YAY. The best part about the Last Call experience is the fact that because everything is almost half off.. no guilt. So piglets I say indulge! Take pride in that footlong receipt, just like you'd take pride in a footlong hot dog... with ketchup... and a side of fries.    

Calling All Piggies!

Hello fellow piglets. If you are reading this you probably love food, fashion, film, music, or in most cases D all of the above  Either way, glad you're here. Now your probably wondering- what exactly is a polished piglet?  Let me break this down. If you wake up in the morning, grab your Louis, and head straight for an Ol' South Pancake House to order a dutch baby, you probably are a polished piglet. If you spend your monthly budget at a Movie Tavern, you probably are a polished piglet. If you look like a walking J Crew catalog but can tell the difference between Kansas City barbecue and Texas barbecue, well my friend you ARE a polished piglet. This is about being the perfect combination of a hungry girl and a classy girl. You got to know your food and be able to strut your stuff with a bucket of chicken under your arm. I'm talking ketchup stains on your Sevens and a box of Thin Mints in your Longchamp. But this blog ins't just about pigging out whenever on whatever, it's about indulging in the finer things. Here I will discuss the great restaurants, shops, movies, and music I find, in hopes that you'll like them too. So welcome piggies, welcome to the blog of milk and honey... and shoes.